WICKED!!! Nigerians Mock Goodluck Jonathan

Like seriously, what was your first reaction when you saw this picture? Presidential spokesperson, Reuben Abati shared this photo of President Jonathan & other world leaders at the Nuclear Security Summit yesterday. Trust Nigerians to go real deep into our dear president. lol. Read their kinda funny/mean reactions to the photo after the jump

'My Abductors Blamed The Government For Their Crime' - Wazobia FM’s Akas Baba Recounts His Kidnap Experience

For seven days, Port Harcourt-based radio presenter Anthony Akatakpo, popularly known as Diplomatic Akas Baba, was the unwilling ‘guest’ of a band of kidnappers that stormed his home about two weeks ago. Not only did Akatakpo’s abductors shoot him in the leg before taking him away, they threatened to kill him if his wife failed to pay them a ransom of N10m. But thankfully, Akas Baba was eventually released by his abductors although they did not get the money as demanded.

In a new interview with Punch, Akas recounts his ordeal in the hands of his kidnappers.

“My ordeal in the kidnappers’ den is not what I wish anybody to experience. It was not a good experience,” Akatakpo said.

The popular radio presenter said the kidnappers kept him blindfolded in an uncompleted building located inside a forest and fed him only fufu, bread and water. He recalled that as soon as they brought him to their hide-out, they asked a doctor to treat the gunshot wound they had inflicted on him.

 “They have a doctor. The first day they took me there, they gave me first aid. I was relieved to discover that no bullet lodged in my leg. They did something to reduce the pain I felt and to avoid decay,” .

However, throughout his ‘incarceration’, the criminals were unusually polite to Akatakpo and they treated him in a friendly manner. But they had strict instructions not to let him off their sight even for a minute and he was careful not to incur their anger.

 “The two men that kept watch on me were friendly. Each time I wanted to visit the toilet, they allowed me to go without much fuss. But I had to obtain permission from them first. I was scared that if I did not do that, they might do something bad to me. Even if I wanted to sneeze or cough, I had to take permission from them or they would misinterpret my action as an attempt to send signals to rescuers lurking around the hide-out.”

Akatakpo said the two men who kept watch over him blamed his abduction on government’s failure to provide them with jobs.

“They blamed the government for their involvement in kidnapping. They said if government had created job opportunities, they would not have been involved in crime. Those that kidnapped me are all unemployed graduates from the Niger-Delta. They said the entire Niger-Delta region had no company that could provide them with jobs, but they had established private companies on their own and their guns were the tools. They said as long as the situation did not change, they were prepared to use the weapons to make a living for themselves,” he added.

Interestingly the criminals had to plead with their victim to forgive them before they eventually released him last week. Akatakpo said they begged him to forgive them for shooting him. They urged him to beg members of his family, especially his wife, on their behalf to pardon them for the pains they caused during the period he was held in captivity.

 “They apologised for shooting me in the leg. They begged me to forgive them from the depth of my heart and asked me to tell my wife to also forgive them for what they did to us. They confessed that what they did was uncalled for. I have forgiven them. Only God can judge them.

When they came to my compound, they told me to open the door. But I did not because I did not invite anybody to my house. When I saw them I was really scared. They actually thought that I was being stubborn. So, they shot at the door. They gained entrance into my house by shooting at the gate and the door. When they came in, they shot me in my leg for refusing to open the door for them.” 

Drawing from his experience, Akatakpo urged government at all levels to take the issue of job creation seriously in order to stem the tide of kidnapping and armed robbery in the country.

“When they were taking me away, they (kidnappers) actually told my wife to go and provide N10m before they would release me. I thank God that with the prayers of people and fans around the country and those in Diaspora, they (my captors) did not collect anything from me. They only told me to send a message to the government to help the youths. They also told me that they did not go into kidnapping for their own selfish interest. They did not collect money from my family.

My advice to government is that it should take the issue of job creation seriously. The youths are not smiling. They (unemployed youths) are bitter and they are angry. They told me that it is always very painful when somebody spends many years in school, including university, and fails to get a reasonable job in the end.

They say it is more painful when your parents look up to you for support and you cannot get a job after graduating from the university. Government must begin to take the creation of jobs for the youth seriously. Apart from reducing crime to a manageable level, job creation will reduce the stress that security agents have to undergo to protect lives and property. The government should also look at the rural areas and build industries there so that the youth living around such places can be employed. That will reduce the incidence of kidnapping in Nigeria.”

Missing Malaysian Flight MH370 Found?

Debris field: The satellite has found objects in a 155 square-mile area

 There are reports that new satellite images have revealed 122 objects in the southern Indian Ocean that could be debris from the Malaysian jetliner missing since March 8 with 239 people on board. And according to a top Malaysian official on Wednesday,t the images were 'the most credible lead that we have'.

Dailymail reports they are the fourth set of satellite images to show potential debris from Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 in a remote part of the Indian Ocean roughly 2,500 km (1,550 miles) south west of Perth. However, the find has dramatically narrowed the search zone, with the debris spotted across an area
measuring just 155 square miles (400 square kilometres). In the past few days the search area has measured around 622,000 square miles - six times the size of the UK. On Wednesday around 31,000 square miles was scoured.

The images were captured by France-based Airbus Defence and Space on March 23, but authorities have not confirmed whether they are from missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.

Court Declares FRSC’s New Number Plates Illegal

Federal Road Safety Commission’s threat to impound vehicles come October 1 might not just happen any more, after a Federal High Court in Lagos this morning declared the new number plates illegal, saying it’s unconstitutional.

The judge said; that it was unlawful for the commission to impose the new number plates on Nigerians, where no existing law permitted it.

The suit was filed by Emmanuel Ofoegbu, a lawyer, against FRSC after they insisted every Nigerian must get the plate number, or have their vehicles impounded as from the 1^st of October, 2014.

God bless Mr Emmanuel. Whoop! Whoop!! But what of  those of us that have changed  out number plates? We want our money back Lol

GUYS: 10 Ways To Make Women Chase You

Below are 10 simple ways to make the ladies swoon and follow you!

Make Your First Impression Count

DO NOT fumble. The fact that most guys act nervous on the very first date itself kills the entire essence of the purpose. There can be nothing worse than not having to say anything to each other the first time you come across a woman. Act confident and don’t say anything stupid to show that you’re braving a storm inside your head. Let her take cues, guess answers to your questions and call it a night leaving her wanting to know more.

Be A Challenge

Instead of doing the hard work, create situations where she has do the chasing instead. Don’t be the desperate, needy, and always-eager-to-please guy. Come across as a powerful guy, who has a lot going on his life and wouldn’t go after a woman. Instead, build the mystery factor and draw them towards you.

Ask The Right Questions

You are doomed forever if your opening statement is “Do you have a boyfriend”. Period. Women generally think of us with a one-track mind, and this is your chance to prove them wrong. Never get into silly questions or details. Instead, ask her what’s her equation with pets. Or what’s her favourite genre of music and that you could play the song once she agrees.

Don’t Linger

Too much of anything is bad. And trust us, women don’t like men hovering around them all the time and “Baby’-ing them. Give them the chance to yearn for you. Stay close, but stay away. Let them come after you when you make yourself scarce. In other words, use absence to make her heart grow fonder.

Pay Attention To Small Details

Buying her a bouquet of roses everyday or dropping obvious compliments aren’t going to earn you any brownie points. Women are suckers for details. Tell her how her dress reminded you of your favourite love story writer, or drop her a text about how she’s in your thoughts even when you are not around. She will definitely come back for more of those.

Know Where To Draw The Line

You like her, she likes you back. Next thing: You ask her out on a date. And again. And again. Stop doing that right away. Give her the chance to miss you. If she asks you out for dinner one night, play around a bit. Tell her you are not sure, you might have to check. Of course, don’t keep refusing her every time; else you might lose the bird in hand. Figure out the real way and you could be the real boss!

Test Her

In an interview, the balance strikes when both parties have doubts and both their doubts are clarified. Do not go on blurting out everything about yourself without asking her a single thing. Find out what her likes and dislikes are, and whether she fits the bill too or not. It’s crucial to do so, as this gives women an assurance that you are equally interested to take matters forward. Add a pinch of humour to the questions and you are on the right path, my friend!

Know The Difference Between ‘Cocky’ And ‘Funny’

If you can make a woman laugh, she will be yours. And we don’t doubt this fact one bit. But there’s a huge difference between being funny and being cocky. Don’t ever try to demean her (especially in front of others by trying to prove how sarcastic you can be), or she would never be yours. Crack her up with good humour and that will keep her thinking more about you.

Hold On To Your Cards
Transparency is good. But mystery is better. At least in when it comes to wooing women and let them follow up on that front. Don’t be an open book. Build some suspense and create some mystery. These are foolproof ways of creating attraction-an attraction so strong that she can’t resist chasing you.

Stop Chasing
There are only few ways that you can be different. Don’t go chasing her like any other guy out there. Let her take the first step, for a change. Use the above tips and make sure you are not the one standing outside her balcony every night like Romeo. It’s time for some role reversal, bro!

HELP!!! My Girlfriend Beats Me, And Uses Cut Glass On Me When I Don’t Wash Her Underpants

Dear Readers,

Most times I wonder what could be wrong with me in this life. Its like the gods of my village are after me. All my relationship always have issues.

Let me just cut the long story short. I’m a Lagos man, and I met this wonderful lady recently and we began dating, it was going good until one day I questioned her about the call she was frequently making and she landed me a heavy slap that for two days I kept seeing pictures of dead people flash past my eye.

Whenever I mess anything up, she beats me. I would have opted out of the relationship but I really love her and most of the time she apologizes later saying she doesn’t know what came over her. Recently she used a cutlass on me because i refused to wash her undies.

I am so scared and sad, please what can i do?

FLASH BACK: Can You Spot D'banj And Don Jazzy In The Picture???

What a transformation!!! D’banj has had a long career and has paid his dues, as can be seen from this photo, so he truly does deserve his success.

Check out his trousers and those glasses....Lol.

STILL LOOKING BEAUTIFUL? Actress Matilda Obaseki Shaves Off Her Hair

Actress Matilda Obaseki Shaves Off Her Hair And Still Manages To Look Beautiful! Do you agree?

Photo Of The Day

LADIES!!! 7 Reasons Not To Rush Into Marriage (MUST READ)

Lots of people rush that trip down the aisle in the early stages of relationship love-haze, thinking that they have a really good reason not to wait.

If you find yourself using one of these excuses in your haste to get married as soon as possible, do yourself a favor and wait it out a bit. After all, if you’re meant to spend the rest of your lives together, what’s a few more months before the wedding date in the grand scheme of things?

1. All your friends are married

It’s hard to feel like everyone’s leaving you behind, and the pressure to couple up can be immense. Try not to forget that you’re awesome all by your own bad self!

2. Baby makes three

It’s one thing to move up a wedding date in a long-term relationship should you find yourself unexpectedly expecting. But don’t rush into it because of the baby. Divorce is going to be harder on that kid down the road than never experiencing his parents in a romantic relationship together.

3. God-sanctioned sex

Maybe it’s your religion or culture or own self-imposed virtue, but for whatever reason, you’re waiting until marriage to do the deed. And you’re sick of waiting. True love waits … you should too.

4. It’s cheaper

You don’t want to live together before you’re married, but sharing expenses is a heck of a lot cheaper. My advice is to get a roommate until you’re really sure you want a permanent roommate.

5. Your bio clock is ticking

With medical advances, women are able to successfully have kids much later in life than previous generations. And you can always adopt.

6. He threatens to leave

If he’s pressuring you to get married quickly, it might be because he wants to lock you down before you get to know him very well. If he threatens to break up with you if you don’t marry him soon, then consider yourself spared.

7. Get married or get deported

You done fell in love with a foreigner, and his visa is expiring soon. Unless you tie the knot, he’s going to get deported. Guess what? If it’s meant to be, your relationship will survive the time and space.
Do you think it’s ever a good idea to rush into marriage?

"I Have Not Had My Bath Or Had Sex In 13 Years" - Ibadan Prophet

The prophet reveals this in a recent interview he had..See the excerpts after the cut:

Some years back, you came out that God instructed you to stop having your bath, is it true. And are you still on it?

Prophet: Yes, it is 13years now to be precise. Early 200 the Lord told me to stop taking my bath, separate myself from my wife and that I should stop taking all those soft drinks and wines. And since then, diligently, I have observed all those things.

Whoever God wants to use for certain purposes on earth, there is a serious price attached to that calling. So I believe that is the price I am paying. As I am talking to you now, I have not taking my bath, if you want me to show you evidence, I will show you if you doubt all I am saying; I have not taking my bath since 2001 till this moment.